Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

Another billion dollar lawsuit against NYC club

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

Not to be outdone by that measly $1 billion class action lawsuit filed against Greenhouse—the “eco-friendly” but allegedly black-unfriendly downtown nightclub—some other offended blacks have stepped up with their own $1.5 billion lawsuit! Greenhouse: the “big tobacco” of nightclubs. This new lawsuit is being filed today by Raqiyah Mays, a Kiss FM radio host, and three others who say that they were not let in “due to their race.” Isn’t it about time for Latinos, Hasidim, and Sikhs to get their piece of the Greenhouse bonanza?

Mays was kept on the humiliating side of the velvet rope on September 25th, when she and others were trying to get into the Urban World Film Festival’s after-party. She claims that the only black people admitted were those who arrived up with whites. “I would call it racism,” Mays tells the Daily News. “I felt embarrassed. I felt humiliated. They were playing the picking game.”   MORE>>>

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Facebook deletes Auschwitz page

Friday, October 16th, 2009

Launching an Auschwitz Facebook page might have seemed like a good way to reach out to a web-savvy younger generation and help keep alive the memory of the most notorious Nazis death camp.

But after gaining around 2,000 online followers in two days, the Facebook page launched by the Polish Auschwitz-Birkenau state museum was taken down todaywithout explanation.

The Auschwitz museum, set up in 1947 as the official memorial to the camp in which more than 1 million people, mostly Jews, died, has been active on the internet for more than 10 years. (more…)

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German police investigate kebab sauce after attack

Friday, October 16th, 2009

BERLIN (Reuters) – German police are investigating a chilli sauce to determine whether it was so spicy that it was capable of causing grievous bodily harm when used in an attack.

Police took a sample of the sauce from a kebab stand in Bremen’s central train station after a kebab salesman threw it into the eyes of a customer during a fight over napkins.

“Legally, the question of whether the spiciness of the kebab sauce constituted ‘normal’ or grievous bodily harm must be addressed,” local police in the northern city said on Friday. (more…)

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Kosher meat plant stinks up SD town

Monday, October 5th, 2009

Behind the freezer doors at a meat plant mysteriously abandoned by its owner, the 44 tons of bison meat managed to hold its own for months, masked by the brutal chill of twoSouth Dakota winters.

Once the power was cut and spring thaw arrived, nature took over. And enough rotting meat to fill a high school gym did exactly what you’d expect: It stank.

It stank at the bank. It smelled at the law office. It reeked at the cafe. Even the jewelry store wasn’t immune. Everyone in this tiny town could smell it, everywhere they went. A putrid odor so downright nasty the cleaners sent to mop up the gooey mess of liquefied meat — topped by a blanket of swarming white maggots and buzzed by a legion of flies — gave up after two days. (more…)

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Mall evicts man for “Nobama” shirts

Monday, September 28th, 2009

Dan Fuchs said business was just starting to pick up at his kiosk in the Mall at Johnson City.

Fuchs’ business, the Graphic Edge, printed slogans and pictures on items such as coffee cups, bumper stickers and T-shirts. He said more than half of his business came from the sale of anti-Obama merchandise. Bumper stickers with slogans such as “SOS: Stop Obama’s Socialism,” “Nobama,” and “Chicago got the party, but the country got the hangover” were displayed around the small stand.

Now it appears Fuchs is out of business at the mall, but mall officials say this decision was not based upon political views. (more…)

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Tests on skull fragment cast doubt on Adolf Hitler suicide story

Monday, September 28th, 2009

This article is written by someone selling books about Nazis fleeing Europe so don’t take it too seriously.

In countless biographies of Adolf Hitler the story of his final hours is recounted in the traditional version: committing suicide with Eva Braun, he took a cyanide pill and then shot himself on 30 April 1945, as the Russians bombarded Berlin.

Some historians expressed doubt that the Führer had shot himself, speculating that accounts of Hitler’s death had been embellished to present his suicide in a suitably heroic light. But a fragment of skull, complete with bullet hole, which was taken from the bunker by the Russians and displayed in Moscow in 2000, appeared to settle the argument.

Until now. In the wake of new revelations, the histories of Hitler’s death may need to be rewritten – and left open-ended. American researchers claim to have demonstrated that the skull fragment, secretly preserved for decades by Soviet intelligence, belonged to a woman under 40, whose identity is unknown. DNA analyses performed on the bone, now held by the Russian State Archive in Moscow, have been processed at the genetics lab of the University of Connecticut. The results, broadcast in the US by a History Channel documentary, Hitler’s Escape, astonished scientists. (more…)

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Russian “Obama” gains favor in local elections

Monday, September 21st, 2009

crimaFor the some 100,000 African immigrants in Russia, racism is part of daily life and, unlike in the US and many parts of Europe, there has never been a politician with black skin in the country – until now. Joakim Crima, who was born in Guinea-Bissau and now lives near the city of Volgograd in the country’s southwest, will be taking part in the upcoming regional elections on October 11.

Crima came to Russia 20 years ago as a university student. Since that time he has gotten a Russian passport, and made his home in a poor provincial region in the southwest of Russia where most people have neither access to gas supply lines nor to water pipes.

Dissatisfaction with local politics there is is high. (more…)

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EURONEWS.US on CNN.COM

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009

CNN screenshot2
Click on the pic for the big picture.

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Student kills career criminal burglar

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

A Johns Hopkins University student armed with a samurai sword killed a suspected burglar in a garage behind his off-campus home early Tuesday, hours after someone broke in and stole electronics.

Some shocked neighbors said they heard bloodcurdling screams in an area just blocks from the university. Police held the student, a junior chemistry major who turns 21 on Sunday, for several hours, but no charges were filed by early afternoon, said police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi.

Around 1:20 a.m., the student heard noises behind the home and noticed a door to the garage was open, Guglielmi said. He grabbed the sword and confronted the intruder, who was crouching beneath a counter. (more…)

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Kids send Marcus the lamb to slaughter

Monday, September 14th, 2009

LONDON (Reuters) – A group of schoolchildren who reared a lamb from birth and named it Marcus has overridden objections by parents and rights activists and voted to send the animal to slaughter.

Marcus the six-month-old lamb has now been culled, the head teacher of the primary school in Kent confirmed on Monday, after the school’s council — a 14-member group of children aged 6 to 11 — voted 13-1 to have him killed.

The decision has provoked fury among animal-loving celebrities, animal and human rights campaigners and the parents of some of the children, and led to threats against Lydd primary school and its teachers, according to a member of staff.

Around 250 children at the school take part in a program designed to teach them about rearing and breeding animals.   SOURCE>>>

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Results are in: South African track star Semenya is a hermaphrodite

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

The IAAF has received the results of gender tests on Caster Semenya, winner of the women’s 800-meter world title last month, and will meet with the South African runner before completing its report.

In an e-mail to The Associated Press, IAAF spokesman Nick Davies said Thursday he couldn’t confirm a story in Australia’s Sydney Morning Herald newspaper stating that tests show Semenya has male and female sexual organs.

“I simply haven’t seen the results,” Davies said. “We have received the results from Germany, but they now need to be examined by a group of experts and we will not be in a position to speak to the athlete about them for at least a few weeks.

“After that, depending on the results, we will meet privately with the athlete to discuss further action.”

The Australian newspaper reported in its Friday edition that medical reports on the 18-year-old Semenya indicate she has no ovaries, but rather has internal male testes, which are producing large amounts of testosterone.   MORE>>>

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White people stole my car?

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

white people stole my carFor the past week, the phrase “white people stole my car” has been Googled like crazy.

Perplexingly, though, there were few results yielded by this popular search and most links lead to some fairly nasty malware. Finally, the above screenshot surfaced, which seems to at least solve the mystery of why the phrase was so popular on Google. As the screenshot above implies, Googling the term “white people stole my car” results in the search engine asking if black people stole my car. Well that’s… really not cool, Google!

But is it real or fake? As of now, Google does not correct the phrase in a racially insensitive way. And while it does appear that at one time Google did, it’s entirely possible and plausible that someone misspelled “black people stole my car,” got the correction shown, and altered the search text as a prank.

I tried to re-fake a screenshot, but it seems that Google is not correcting any searches to say “black people stole my car” anymore. Bummer.   SOURCE>>>

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German AIDS group makes Hitler sex video

Friday, September 4th, 2009

The provocative commercial, which ends with the tag-line “AIDS is a mass murder”, aims to scare young people into using condoms by associating the deadly disease with the German dictator.

(more…)

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South African teen wins 800 amid gender-test flap

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

african runnerMaybe he’s a circumcision gone wrong?

BERLIN (AP)—Facing questions about her gender, South African teenager Caster Semenya easily won the 800-meter gold medal Wednesday at the world championships.

Her dominating run came on the same day track and field’s ruling body said she was undergoing a gender test because of concerns she does not meet requirements to compete as a woman.

Semenya took the lead at the halfway mark and opened a commanding lead in the last 400 meters to win by a massive 2.45 seconds in a world-leading 1 minute, 55.45 seconds. Defending champion Janeth Jepkosgei was second and Jennifer Meadows of Britain was third in 1:57.93.

After crossing the line, Semenya dusted her shoulders with her hands. Semenya did not speak to reporters after the race or attend a news conference.   MORE>>>

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Rapper gets 2 years for Myspace song

Friday, July 31st, 2009

antavio johnsonA rapper in Lakeland, Florida was arrested and setenced to two years in prison after local law enforcement found a song on MySpace that threatened two cops.

According to TheLedger.com, 20-year-old rapper T.I. (real name: Antavio Johnson) was charged with two counts of corruption by threat of a public servant, when a gang detective found a song titled “Kill Me A Cop,” on MySpace page earlier this year.

In the song, Johnson mentioned two Lakeland police officers by name and threatens murder, and refers to a sheriff’s deputy and police dog killed in the line of duty. (more…)

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Police searching for Apple store shooter

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

Arlington County police have yet to identify the man who shot an Apple store employee in Clarendon yesterday morning in a back storeroom as more than three dozen shoppers milled about the showroom, police said today. (more…)

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Former Law Student Gets Life In PlayStation Murder

Saturday, June 27th, 2009

Jon Quel BrooksFRESNO, Calif. - A criminal law student has been sentenced to life in a California prison for killing one man and wounding two others in a dispute over a Sony PlayStation console.

Jonquel Brooks was sentenced Friday in Fresno County Superior Court. He asked for forgiveness from relatives of the man he shot.

Police said Brooks killed 19-year-old Brant Daniels and wounded his friends in May 2007. They had apparently gone to Brooks’ apartment to look for their stolen PlayStation.

Brooks was a freshman at California State University, Fresno, at the time.  MORE>>>

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Israeli woman mistakenly junks $1 million mattress

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

JERUSALEM – An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress she said had almost $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites on Wednesday. The woman told The Associated Press that she bought her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise present on Monday — and threw out the old one.
The next day, she said, she remembered that she had hidden her life savings inside the old mattress. “I woke up in the morning screaming, when it hit me what happened,” said the Tel Aviv woman, who asked not to be identified.
She went to look for the mattress, but it had already been hauled away by garbage collectors, she said. Searches at three different landfill sites turned up nothing.
She said the money was in U.S. dollars and Israeli shekels. She refused to say how she acquired such a large sum. “It was all my money in the world,” she said. There was no way to verify her claims, and she refused to disclose key details. MORE>>>

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Two women jailed over Obama photo

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

obama-photo-snatcherSo much so that Wyoming police say she walked into a Grove Avenue home Friday to take it.

She struggled with the owner, who called police for help.

Anderson lost and ended up in the Hamilton County jail – without the photo.
Officers arrested her getaway driver, 31-year-old Tamika Cornwell, of Colerain, about 10 hours after the crime.

She’s accused of being an accomplice to the burglary, tampering with evidence and putting her child in danger.

Her 3-year-old son was there when the women fought over the picture.

Anderson, 24, of Wyoming, is facing the same charges.

Both women are scheduled to appear in court Monday.   SOURCE>>>

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Oprah rewards viewers with fried chicken, riot ensues

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

 

kfc-fried-chicken-riotLOUISVILLE, Ky. —  Customers at a New York City KFC hoping to redeem coupons for a free meal were disgruntled when the fast-food restaurant ran out of its new grilled chicken, but Internet rumors of a riot were unfounded, a Kentucky Fried Chicken spokeswoman said Wednesday.

“Some customers were upset because they couldn’t get their chicken, but there was no riot,” said Laurie Schalow.

Schalow said the Manhattan restaurant on East 42nd Street plans to begin honoring the coupons again Thursday after it resupplies the kitchen. (more…)

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